Acta est fabula

Nada n. A quantity of No Importance.

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- 12:03pm

Well.. Lilly was wonderful enough to call me, and tell me that my number 1 adopted father has lost his fight. I didn't take it well, in that... I didn't take it. I don't think it's registered, and I'm in Ohio so I can't rush in and hug the family.. So I'm numb. It will hit me hard later... but for now I am comforted that he is no longer in pain, of heart, mind or body, and that since he believed in heaven, he is there now and at peace. But I don't feel at peace... Mark was the father of my heart and I loved him more than words can describe... which is why I can't fathom why the tears haven't come. And there is heavyness, and sadness, but not grief. I don't understand at all.

I went to Barnes and Nobles for 4 hours while Savina worked, and bought myself a journal to just write. It helped me process a little, but it didn't evoke any of the emotion I was positive would come. It makes me sad to think I could be so numb. But not enough to cry. Just like this... and that frightens me. Or maybe.. I AM at peace with it BECAUSE he no longer suffers. I don't know. But it isn't about me... it's about Mark and Lilly and Elise, and I need to focus on them and not feel bad because I don't feel bad enough like some kind of emo.

Lilly said that next weekend, not this coming but next - thank God because I will be home - is the memorial. I will do anything I can to help set that up. There isn't a funeral, because that isn't what Daddy wanted, so I have to say goodbye in my heart instead. And I'm trying.

I love you, Mark. You were the Father of my heart and I will miss you so much. Your wonderful humor and stories, the way you always listened with your ears and heart, not just to the words, and how you understood me, and I you, even when we didn't understand ourselves. Your Family are my mother and my sister, and I love them with all of my heart too. We will see you again someday... I'm so happy you're free to be yourself now. Find Peace and Serenity, No. 1 Adopted Father... I love you.

Lilly... I love you too. So much. I'll be home on Sunday sometime... Call if you need anything at all, even just an ear. ::hugs::

current mood:

numb

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- 10:13pm

Ae, Nina, Logan is precious! 36 hours, you are certainly a champ! <3 But he's so SMALL... 8.2 seems so small compaired to 10.15 :-p You have my envy. I'm glad that even though it was concerning it turned out ok.

Welp, Im in Menands. Squashed up against troy, waterveliet, malta and Albany. Im bored out of my mind.

We drove in yesterday, and it was terrifying. Kevin had not slept well the night before, and he kept starting and swerving because he forgot where he was. I thought we were all gonna die.

We drove up through fultonville through the countryside to Saratoga Springs to see Kyle & Samantha's house. When we got there Liam remembered us and he brought us into his room and locked the door. We were his prisoners and we were never allowed to leave again.

Yeah that lasted like 5 seconds. We all walked down into town and looked at the park. We were going to take the kids on the carousel but none of us had cash on us.. we were like 40 cents short. So they actually fished it out of the wishing well. Seriously. I was so appalled. Then Kahlyn thought it was ok and kept going for it, and Samantha and I were just like.. wow you have no shame.

But hey the kids got to ride the carousel. Then we walked back to their house and got the car and took the kids to friendly's. It was fun!

Then we drove here and got settled in. Sam set up a swing crib for wesley, which is really neat btw, and Kyle helped Kevin and Kahlyn blow up an air mattress. We settled in, and after everything was ready we went to bed. Just as we were starting to drift off, Wesley started to scream. Man that sucked. Then Kahlyn started in because its like midnight and she has to share a room so kevin popped up to make a bottle and eventually he settled down.

I couldn't sleep... so I decided kevin didn't need to either and I reminded him that I love him, then we both passed out. It was nice.

I woke up having this awful dream that I had gotten my period all over everything and had ruined the bed, which is the most horrible thing to dream about, btw. So i got up, and we got the kids ready for their day. I was really tired though, so I lay back down and tried with limited success to take a nap.

then Kevin woke me up and told me to get ready. I did my makeup for the first time in... in... God i dont even know. Im not fancy, I don't really ever wear make up. but i must have done something right because kevin told me unbidden that I looked beautiful.

We drove to the Yaddo Gardens in Saratoga. It was beautiful. The whole place is a turn of the century castle turned poet commune, and the lawns and gardens complete with marble fountains and statuary are open to the public. The house is not. (Dammit)

We got there and found Kyle and Liam, and we took Liam to see the carp in the fountain that he just HAD to show me while Kyle went to find the priest. I got some pictures of the kids, while Kevin held Wesley who promptly peed through his outfit.

He got to be naked in the open air while we changed him. he was THRILLED. Then we gathered under the trees overlooking the garden and the priest gave the ceremony. It was beautiful. I got it on video.

Then we took pictures all over the garden.

Afterwards we all came back to Rogers's for the reception. It was a nice modest BBQ. We all talked and laughed and ate. It was really nice :)

As they were leaving, Wesley Noticed the dog for the first time... and hilarity ensued.

Eventually everyone cleared out and we sat around and watched some tv.. Then all my dreams came true... *cry* I hate being a girl.

Wesley passed out cold on the couch and then around 8 I sent Kevin and Kahlyn to see the fireworks. Not long after they left, Roer dropped a stack of chairs on the floor and woke up the baby :-p But it was good because the he got to hold him, and play with him and bond a little.

Kahlyn apparently got cold and wanted to leave before even the finale. So she came home and she and Roger went to bed. Kevin and I are up with Wesley watching Happy Feet.

Tomorrow we're going to go see Linda in Great Barrington and then go back home. Her condition is worsening... she may not last more than a year. She couldnt go to the wedding as a result, so we're going to bring her a baby and tell her all about it.

Wesley is growling into kevin's shoulder to try and keep himself awake. It's pretty damn funny. Then he'll stop for a few minutes take a deep breath and start in even louder.

well, I think we're going to head to bed soon. I guess I actually have to sleep tonight... suck. Im really uncomfortable too. :-/ WHY does god hate women?

Love to all.

(Hug me)

Writer's Block: Looking Back
- 7:41pm

LiveJournal is turning 10 and we're feeling nostalgic. What was your first LJ post about?

View 503 Answers

12:04am 12/11/2000
oh ick, it's tomorrow again.

This is the earliest remaining post of my original journal, http://thenada.livejournal.com/
my folks had a heart attack that I would have an online journal and forced me to delete it. I originally started it in 1998. Read the user profile if you want to see JUST how OLD it is....

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- 6:08pm

Funniest conversation:

Kay: *Whining* Mo-oooom.... Kevin isn't cooking!
Kev: Why don't you cook something yourSELF, Miss Ma'am?
Kay: Uh, because i don't know how and that's YOUR job, WOMAN!!!

omg, it was snotty and uncalled for but I couldn't stop Laughing!

Today wasnt very interresting. You post online that you spent all night awake in the hospital, and are home and fine, and the first thing everyone does is call first thing in the morning to check on you. You couldn't possibly be sleeping :p

So I didn't get much. An hour here or there. Then I made some fried dough for breakfast. Cus I totally needed that much sugar.

Kevin went and got my Kay, and she was pretty chill for the day. The two most interresting things that happened is there is an impression in the snow up on the hill... I wish I could get close enough or had a decent enough camera to make a picture, but it looks like a little man laid down in the snow. Like a straight up gnome got dropped in the snow. It's the neatest thing.

A little later a doe, all alone, wandered into the yard and rooted for food up there. It's odd to see deer alone, especially young deer out in the open not at dusk. But she didn't look sick. She was beautiful and we watched her out the window until she wandered off.

Other than that? No contractions, no progress. Just relaxing. Spent the day on the couch. CSI marathon on Spike FTW!!! a bunch I haven't seen.

My kitten just stole my hospital bracelet. At least someone was amused by this whole thing

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- 2:48pm

High heels for babies 1:41

Think high heels are just for adults? Think again

this hurts my BRAIN

http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2008/09/13/feldman.wa.baby.high.heels.king

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- 3:08pm

Stop Blagojevich From Closing Illinois State Parks!

I have just visited GoPetition and found the following page very interesting:

http://www.gopetition.com/online/21603.html

Regards

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Devious Journal Entry
- 10:14pm

Final Proj. Color Study by =thenada on deviant ART

So this is a color study of my mostly finished final project. The point is to take concepts we learned in the class, like Changing Direction, Overlapping Objects, Diminishing Size and Detail vs. Sharp Focus, shading, visual texture, volume and perspective and create an image.

I'm not sure that I'm in love with any of them. let me know and if you have a completely different thought. Thanks.

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- 1:22pm

So I don't know that it looks like Jesus, but doesnt it look like there is a man's head in the womb with this baby?

http://www.wesh.com/health/16703739/detail.html

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- 7:56am

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i r sheep
- 10:55pm

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Devious Journal Entry
- 10:30pm

Senshi love by =thenada on deviant ART

To Sarah Beth, with love, Nada.

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Maggie sent this to me, I about DIED...
- 6:52am

Dear Mr. President,

I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would
propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same-sex
marriage. As you said, "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a
man a woman." I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I
can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for
example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18.22 clearly states it
to be an abomination. End of debate.

However, I do need some advice from you regarding some other elements
of God's Laws and how best to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25.44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and
female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend
of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not to Canadians. Can
you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in
Exodus 21.7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in
her period of menstrual uncleanness (Leviticus15.19-24). The problem
is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a
pleasing odor for the Lord. (Leviticus 1.9) The problem is my
neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite
them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus
35.2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated
to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an
abomination (Leviticus11.10), it is a lesser abomination than
homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there degrees
of abomination?

7. Leviticus.21.20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if
I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading
glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room
here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair
around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by
Leviticus19.27. How should they die?

9. I know from Leviticus 11.6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig
makes me unclean. May I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Leviticus 19.19 by planting two
different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing
garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester
blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really
necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town
together to stone them? (Leviticus 24.10-16) Couldn't we just burn
them to death at a private family affair, as we do with people who
sleep with their in-laws? (Leviticus 20.14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy
considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can
help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
unchanging.

Yours truly,
An Inquiring Supporter

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- 10:33am

I have a beautiful Mission Style Cherry finish Queen/king size Bed. It's the headboard, the footboard, the side panels, and the center braces for the box sping and it fits together without any tools. I bought it new less than 2 years ago for $299. I also have a lovely matching cherry wood dresser and night stand with wrought iron legs and pulls. I paid $128 and $69 for them. They're gorgeous.

I don't need them anymore. The green set I always wanted from Biglots is coming with the house.

If you're interrested I'd be willing to part with the whole shebang for $250. If you know anyone that is, let me know.

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- 8:44am

3 things I don't type about, because I don't have all the facts or details to make an educated arguement, nor presume my opions matter:

1. Politics - what we envision as perfect is not attainable if we vote for people whom are not perfect, or choose not to vote at all. I don't vote, there fore I have no right to make an opinion. I am part of the problem.

2. Religion - The only religion I have ever been exposed to is Catholicism, which I find to be an outdate doctorine of rituals and absolute surrender of self to a church whom I can liken to a self important heirarchy dictating your srrender of wealth to liken yourself to God while they get rich on your efforts, hide their own sins, and guilt you into giving all you have even though you're likely going to hell anyway. Hence I am agnostic. I know nothing of any other sect, therefore my opinion of them and their religion is uneducated and likely biased by cultural difference. So I will not discuss.

3. Culture - what is right for me is based on how I was raised, the society around me, and the expected norm drilled in to me from birth. It is not the same as other countries, other peoples, or other relgions, and what may repulse or disgust me is based on how I was raised and MY culture - so I will not preach of what I do not understand.

I wanted to throw that out there... Not aimed at anyone, and if anyone takes offense that's you're own problem. What was that song? "You're so vain... I bet you think this song is about you, don't you?"

Not that anyone should squelch their opinions, (They unfortunatley have that right) but if you don't get all the facts first you make yourself sound like an ass. This is my public service announcement; Don't be the ass.

Thank you.

(Hug me)

- 5:33pm

You know the Bible 72%!

Wow! You are truly a student of the Bible! Some of the questions were difficult, but they didn't slow you down! You know the books, the characters, the events . . . Very impressive!

Ultimate Bible Quiz
Create MySpace Quizzes

Lord of the Rings is not in the New testament, and God did not create Myspace on the 4th day...

Wow.. that's alot of retained knowledge for someone who hasn't cracked a bible in over 10 years.

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- 8:59am

This has to be the single most brilliant political statement I have ever seen. >>LINK << BRAVO

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- 4:02pm

Put your b-day too (and applicable anniversary , since I am re-doing my book of them.)

YOU'RE ON MY FRIENDS LIST, so I would like to know about you. I don't particularly care if we never talk, never liked each other, or if we already know everything about each other. You're on my list, so if you have the time, please let me know who it is that I am friends with

1. Can you cook?

2. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator?

3. What talent do you wish you had?

4. Favorite place?

5. Favorite vegetable?

6. What was the last book you read?

7. Are you Dirty or Clean?

8. Any tattoos and/or piercings?

9. Worst habit?

HERE COMES THE FUN ...

1. How did we meet?

2. What's your philosophy on life?

3. Negative or Optimistic?

4. What was your dream growing up?

5. Worst thing to ever happen to you?

6. What was your first impression of me?

7. Tell me one weird fact about you:

8. What’s your favorite memory of us?

9 is missing. Make up something if you want.

10. Have you ever kept anything from me?

11. What do you think of me as a person?

12. Do you think I'm sane or insane?

13. Would you cry for me if I died?

14. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?

15. If you could change anything about me, would you?

16. How do you fall asleep?

17. Ever gotten angry with me?

18. Would you go on a blind date if I set you up?

19. If you had one day to live, what would you do?

20. A million bucks… what would you do with it?

21. What is your worst fear?

22. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

23. Can you sing or dance?

24. In one word, how would you describe me? Be honest....

25. Will you repost this so I can fill it out?

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- 1:01pm

create your own visited states map
or check out these Google Hacks.

LAME - most of them were Drive-thru's....

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Love by ruby mae
Your name
Your partner
You two are	One
Your meeting was by	Destiny
He/She is your	Best Friend
You are his/her	Baby
Your love will	Last for all eternity